My Bad.

As a kid, I had always assumed the traffic light in Mr. Rogers's house was stolen.

An Imagined Conversation

"Can we park here?"

"I dunno. What day is it?"

"It's Friday."

"Hmmmm."

.....

"Hmmmm."

.....

"Hmmmm."

.....

"Hmmmm."

.....

"Hmmmm."

.....

"No."

UAG

Recycling Bin Was Nervous.

Recycling Bin was nervous around Bear.

Takeout Container was terrified of Bear.

One set of Trash Cans was angry.

Another set was relaxing after a long day of work.

Speed Bump was ambivalent.

Stencil Board was bewildered.

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags For The Week of April 24

Twitter sucks so much ass it should implode under its own suckage. Nevertheless, its users "tweet" about lots of subjects, and they add hashtags which become popular and why am I explaining all this to you in 2019. Anyways, here are the least used hashtags that you should use in your own tweets:

#incelcologne

#bitcoinhonesty

#Fortnitescholars

#GoldenCorralrestraint

#flirtingtheEasterBunny

#beholdmynutsMissSwift

#kernelcornmakesaterriblelube

#rubbingmyballsonthechafingdish

#MaraLagoemployeeappreciationday

#mooningfromtheInternationalSpaceStation

#holyshitthatbabycarseatsuredidwithstandthatbearattacktoobadforthebabythough

More Proof That I'm Going To Die In A Car

Heh Meh Duh Feh Cah Seveh Tuh Meh

(pictured above, Bob Dylan is none too happy about being Photoshopped with Coney Island's Parachute Jump)

Let's break wind into the EADJ Mail Sack, then hold it over the head of our significant other!

(the following submission by Vince: a photographer who shoulda been a typesetter for puppy newsletters)