It's common knowledge that Hollywood is plum out of ideas. Desperate for the next screenplay, top studios have sent screenwriters to all corners of American culture to scoop up the next movie release idea. The following films have recently been greenlit, all based on the black hair section in your local Walgreens:
"Creme of Nature" starring Donald Glover, Letitia Wright and Dave Faustino
A young veterinarian (Glover) discovers a way to extract milk from any animal, regardless of species or gender. His sister (Wright) warns him against starting his own dairy business, right before he gets a visit from Father Nature (Faustino). Rated R for lots of bad CG.
"Olive Miracle" starring Meryl Streep, Hailee Steinfeld and Lupita Nyong'o
A mother and daughter travel to a rustic olive farm in Calabria, Italy and learn the ways of growing extra virgin olive oil under the guidance of an expert (Nyong'o). Lifetime friendships are made.
"HAIR MAYONNAISE" starring Ben Stiller, Hannibal Buress and Cecily Strong
A freak factory mishap causes a worker's (Stiller) hair to turn permanently to mayonaisse. He and his friends (Buress & Strong) try desperately to find a cure but end up creating a major social media presence instead.
"Moco de Gorila" featuring the voices of Greta Thunberg, Godfrey, and Tila Tequila
This animated adventure tells the story of a punk rock gorilla who found his way from the jungle to the legendary punk rock Bowery Ballroom with the PUNK message to care for the earth and stop being a non-green douche. Animation by Laika Studios.
"Sportin' Waves" starring Zazie Beetz, Angela Bassett and Jenna Fischer
A California surfer (Beetz) befriends some ATF operatives (Basset & Fischer) in her beach town and signs up to fight the non-local drug cartel moving in. Also starring Ving Rhames as "Skippy".
"Frizz Buster" starring Angela Kinsey, Laurence Fishburne, Hugh Bonneville and Willem Dafoe
A black hair care company is under attack! Its president (Fishburne) deputizes his staff to use experimental weaponry that he collected to kick some frizz ass, which captures the attention of a suspicious CIA agent (Dafoe).
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