TASK CHAIR NEVER LEFT, YOU MEWLING COCKSUCKERS. YOU'VE BEEN WHINING AND BELLYACHING ABOUT THIS OR THAT NOT GETTING DONE, AND TASK CHAIR HAD THE ANSWER ALL ALONG. FEEL STUPID YET, PUSSIES?
TASK CHAIR HAS A GAS LIFT SEAT, SWIVELS AND EVEN ROLLS ON CASTERS, SO WHAT'S THE BITCHING ABOUT NOT BEING ADJUSTABLE ENOUGH? MAYBE IT'S YOUR UNPRODUCTIVE FAT ASS THAT'S HEMORRHAGING THE COMPANY MONEY. MAYBE IT'S YOUR BROWSER HISTORY BEING MAINLY REDDIT AND THESUPERFICIAL, YOU THINK ABOUT THAT? TASK CHAIR HAS BEEN WATCHING.
"GET A NEW CHAIR." BOOM, DONE! SEE, TASK CHAIR HAS ALREADY DECIMATED YOUR TO-DO LIST. BOW DOWN AND RECOGNIZE, YOU SHITSTAINS. SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET ACCOMPLISHED UP IN THIS OPEN FLOOR PLAN.
MAYBE STOP SOCIALIZING OVER PARTITION WALLS AND START PUSHING THIS COMPANY IN THE BLACK, SHALL WE, ASSHOLES? THOUGHT SO. YOU MILLENNIALS WON'T HAVE YOUR GRANDPARENTS' BASEMENT TO LIVE IN FOREVER. YEAH, I SAID IT.
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