Staples
3-ring binder dividers (pink) with pockets: 90% chance
Contraceptive sponges: 3% chance
Old Navy
Flip flops: 95,000% chance
Pants that don't make you look either effeminate or masculine in ways you didn't intend: 18% chance
Bass Pro Shops
Live bait that screams when you put it on a hook: 67% chance
Nail polish remover: 7% chance
Best Buy
TV with no HDMI but with *both* RCA and coaxial cable ins: 71% chance
A faulty dryer that has 8 lbs of smuggled cocaine inside: 45% chance
CVS Pharmacy
Picture frames with already broken glass: 38% chance
A DVD copy of "Untamed Heart" starring Christian Slater: 93% chance
Hot Topic
Panic! At The Disco tank top: 100% chance
Something your dad would wear: 0% chance
Bed Bath & Beyond
"Washtunes: the washcloth that has a pocket for your smartphone:" 88% chance
Fertility idol that works: 14% chance
Ross: Dress For Less
A wedding gown for under $15: 63% chance
A communicable disease from one of their thongs: 77% chance
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