1) Because Callisto, one of the major moons of Jupiter, had fewer disciples to recruit.
2) For the cashews. Admit it- THEY ARE DELICIOUS.
3) Because he was legally obligated to appear on Earth per this contract with the William Morris Agency.
4) Because Jesus needed a place to crash.
5) Because the nearest CVS Photo was located on Earth.
6) To get the band together with Jason Newsted and James Hetfield in time for Ozzfest.
7) Someone sent him an invite, so he figured what the hell.
8) Groupon.
9) To give the apostle Paul some new material to work with.
10) To avenge the death of S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Phil Coulson.
See you in Hell!
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