There's a health food store a few blocks from my office, and during lunch I eat at delis and gyro stands around it. But it was only recently that I discovered that the health food store had its own sandwich counter in the back, offering such delicacies as the tofu, lettuce and tomato sandwich or the gluten-free vegetarian falafel wrap. Mmmmm.
But on the way to the sandwich counter, I noticed that the shelves were stocked with unique snacks.
And among these snacks were the health food "equivalents" of popular mainstream sweets.
Raweo. Okay. I'm not sure what "Live Cookies" means, unless I open the package and those things are going to start scurring to the corners of the room. Although the package promises flavors of vanilla, almond, coconut, honey and cinnamon, I'm very doubtful that this can successfully approximate the tasty extruded chemical white "Stuf" inside an Oreo.
Long story short: I bit into one of those cookies and had to immediately spit it out. I mean, I had to hock out every last morsel of said cookie into the trash because the taste and texture was instantly disgusting. But could I taste honey or a soupcon of almond in the creme? WHO GIVES A SHIT GET THIS OUT OF MY FUCKING MOUTH. I will say I stopped short of gagging, so there's that.
Verdict: Raweos should not only hang its head in shame for even attempting to compare itself to Oreos, all proceeds of its sale should be redirected to wrecking ball-ing of the factory and horse farm/teepee commune that produces this abomination. On a scale from 1 to 100 (with 100 being the most delicious) Raweos scores a solid 3. No, 2.
This new EADJ segment will document my exploration of the various healthy snacks to prove once and for all that health food nuts really don't enjoy living all that much.
Will someone generate a logo for this segment, please?
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