Monday, January 7, 2013

A Disturbing Hobby Store Find

Plastic model kit company Moebius offers not only expensive and highly detailed licensed monster kits but also your more basic, generic cheapo sets. 


These "Monster Scenes" are old school throwback scenes complete with mad scientists and torture devices. Harmless fun, right? Right.




They also, however, offer The Victim, a generic damsel in Daisy Dukes who can either be shown running away from a lurching monster or be tortured by the The Pendulum or The Hanging Cage or The Pain Parlor. I guess this is for children who can't steal their sister's Barbies.




If you're a budding serial killer, no assembly necessary. Just steal some ketchup packets from Hardee's and you're golden.






 Only "1 frightened expression?" I guess the bored or annoyed expressions weren't selling as well.



Here are some alternate, less violent scenarios for the Victim:

• accusing the valet of dinging her 1998 RAV4
• telling the manager that she's getting bad service after not getting the check for 6 minutes
• complaining to the admissions officer that she got waitlisted because she's Hispanic
• saying the power company is singling her out although it's clear her entire block is without service
• not shredding her credit card junk mail and being surprised that someone stole her identity
• saying the press won't stop harping about how bad a mother she's been to Lindsay Lohan
• bitching about how "The Dark Knight Rises" isn't entirely in the IMAX format
• loudly sighing about having a middle seat on the plane even though she booked the ticket late
• insisting that any assault weapon control legislation is automatically infringing on HER rights
• feeling betrayed by George Lucas
• blaming her fat thighs on her incompetent Zumba instructor
• saying her boyfriend cheating on her isn't the same as her cheating on her boyfriend because she had more "emotional" reasons
• attributing her racism to her racist grandfather who never lived with her
• bitching about H&M's return policy requiring a receipt

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