Wednesday, October 7, 2009

An Imagined Conversation.


"Saks Fifth Avenue, Jewelry Section."

"Hi, Theresa. It's Shannon."

"Hi Shannon, what can I do for you?"

"I'm over in Housewares again, and a customer is asking about the Eduardo panini press. And since I know you used to work in this section, I thought I could ask you..."

"Cock and balls."

(pause)

"What?"

"Oh, nothing, Shannon."

"...well anyways, this customer is returning a panini press they got as a wedding gift, but since we no longer sell this model, they're wondering if they can exchange it for the cheaper brand and collect the difference."

"Well, yes. That should be fine, Shannon. All you have to do is void the Eduardo press in their registry and then apply the new price of the big dick and nutsack to the balance."

"Did you just say 'big dick and nutsack?'"

"No, I said 'cheaper panini press.'"

"No, Theresa, I distinctly heard 'big dick and nutsack.' You practically shouted it."

"Gigantic erect penis and scrotum with one testicle larger than the other."

(click)

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