Hello? Yes, I've been on hold for 10 minutes already. This is the AMC Loews Lincoln Square Theatre, yes? Good.
Yes, I have a question about a new release movie that I believe is playing at your theatre. It's called "Paranormal Activity." I've read in a few movie blogs that the movie is genuinely frightening, and I was calling to just clarify that if I see the movie, it won't give me a heart attack or nuthin'.
No, I don't have a history of heart problems, although I do serve a lot of food that could be considered high in fat. You know, sausage, hot dogs, beef patties... yes, I serve the beef patties with bread... sure, you can make a sandwich with it... But my question is whether I will die from watching this scary movie.
Well, you say that no one has died at your theatre yet, but it is a new release, so maybe the person who will die from watching that movie hasn't shown up yet. I'm just saying, statistically speaking, that if this movie is as scary as I've heard (and I've heard it's excellent; it scored an 86% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes), then I possibly have reason to be concerned about cardiac arrest.
"Call my doctor?!" Look, I'm calling you! I don't have a lot of minutes on my cell phone plan, so I just need you to tell me what are the health dangers in seeing this movie, and if you validate parking. Also, do you let hot dog carts in the parking deck...hello? Hello?
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