It is with extreme displeasure that we bring you another installment of the EADJ Crappinema. This time, a sort of Brothers-McMullen-or-Tyler Perry-type ensemble cast movie about relationships. Who knew you could remove the annoying drag queen grandma character and still somehow make it less watchable. Let's begin!
"Playing – sorry, Playin' For the Kitty" is the story of five buddies and the trials and tribulations they face in their romantic relationships. At least that's what it said on the box. In actuality, it's about a bunch of actors delivering average dialogue and flexing for no reason in front of a poorly-lit videocamera. I sense a vague, uncommitted approach to the material from the actors– the same way that a high school Senior would detachedly join the glee club to pad their college application; this movie is strictly a resumé padder.
Some verbatim dialogue at the end of the movie:
Peyton (VO): Well, that brings us back to where we started. Our final game.
Everything worked out. Dewayne and Kayla were good. Keisha and Ty were moving towards commitment. Dre was kicking it with Kim. Jay was being less of a dog and made up with Lance. Chris was still hanging loose. And me, happily married, you could say.
Oh, yeah, the game. Money and the final score? Well, we won.
"We won?" What the fuck kind of answer is that? And I'm not talking about the outcome of the football game, which I could give a fart about (I understand that was some kind of analogy for life) – there was hardly any character arc in any of the individual stories.
Shit like "everything worked out" and "we won" is just a lazy writer's way of saying "I don't want to think about tying all the loose ends and piddly details that I've created, so I'll just cinch it all together at the end, clip it off and say everything worked out." Which is 31 flavors of placenta cockhorse, if you ask me. Cheat!
Booo! You won! Booooo!
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