Static!

Static shock in the Thomas household!

Due to very dry weather in the L.A. area, the air in Joel's apartment has gotten very susceptible to static shock. It only makes things worse that Joel chooses to traipse around his apartment in nothing but wool socks. Sure, it's sexy, but dangerous!

Just yesterday afternoon Joel walked from his dick-eating bench in the office/guest room to the kitchen to make himself a smoothie. When he touched the blender, it sent a static shock so severe he spoke Spanish briefly:

"¡Que pasa! Estática que conmocionó al infierno de mí!"

Joel's chimp servant Chad Yarboro has been smart enough to avoid the floor altogether, swinging from sconce to sconce like my balls on Joel's chin.

Next Monday it's supposed to rain, so Joel will go sockless this weekend.

(pictured above, I can't tell if the t-shirt is being ironic or not. Your thoughts, reader?)


Wow. We haven't heard from you in like, forever, Pewter Bear. Man was that a long, wonderful period of no weak-ass pussiness. Seeing your stupid, hateable, smashable face again makes us realize that your death would be the greatest celebration this hemisphere has ever witnessed. FUCK OFF.