In an ongoing effort to keep his weight off, Joel has requested all potential dick-eatees to not slather their dicks in gravy or ranch dressing.
"It's very thoughtful of you fellas to add a little something to the mix, and I do appreciate the gesture," Joel said in a booth in a Bob Evans off the freeway, "But a man's gotta keep his figure down, and too many fatty condiments add up. Especially when I'm eating like 800 in one sitting, BURP."
Since 2003, Joel has lost a total 48 lbs. and is now at a very agile 130 lbs. 132 if he has two dicks in his mouth.
In response to Joel's new request, many local eateries and grocery stores are now offering a "No Trans Fat" version of a popular lime tequila dick eating sauce.
(pictured above, Al Roker has the unmitigated Andrew GALL to tell people to eat healthier when all he did was cheat via gastric bypass surgery)
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