You can't make a tiger change its spots. You can't make a shark evolve more. And you can't make Joel eat more dick than he already does.
Two weeks ago a self-proclaimed "life coach" Jerry Fusili offered his services to Joel. He vowed to get Joel to tighten his buttocks, sculpt his abs and get the cock-eating muscles in his jaw to expand. Joel was reluctant but agreed.
Four days into a new regimen, Mr. Fusili had sculpted Joel's buttocks into the shape of a large, pale, hairy taco holder. Joel's abs were well-defined but soft in the middle. And Joel showed no marked improvement in his cock-eating skillz, which were by the way already excellent.
So on the fifth day Joel fired Jerry Fusili. They never even discussed a payment plan, so they parted ways with a deep kiss and a firm shake of their dongs.
(pictured above, the Bucktown Beanery is very mean with their cookie tags)
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