Twitter's Least Used Hash Tags, Week of September 16

Here now are this week's least popular Twitter hash tags (feel free to use yourself):

#racewar

#jaylenohilarious

#oogieloves

#justinguarini

#pawningmyfiddle

#strepthroat

#manimal

#purellenemas

#amishrule

#ceelosanus

#imnotanattentionwhore

#spandexburkhas

UAG

Bill Dow is Indirectly Responsible For This

Spotted in Quincy, IL (????), an ad for a transmission repair place:


This begs several questions:

• They know what a tranny is in Quincy, right?
• So they know that they named their entire business around a tranny joke, right?
• And they know that their target audience probably aren't trannies, right?
• And they can't be completely surprised if someone completely misguided sees this ad with the clip art doctor thinking it's actually a tranny clinic, right?
• Uh, that isn't a real tranny clinic, or is it?
• Why did they have to move?

Joel's Misadventures At the Food Court

If there's one thing Joel is known for besides eating dick, it's nothing.

So imagine everyone's utter surprise when Joel saunters into the Food Court at the Burbank Town Center, a mall that's known to not have any dick eateries at all!

The kids working the Lotus Express were crestfallen.

Auntie Anne's Pretzels thought it was a joke.

The woman at Saladworks actually shat herself.

Joel, in fact, cause such a stir that he was confronted twice by mall security, once in front of the Piercing Pagoda, and one by the Make Your Own Teddy Bear Bullshit Factory.

Turns out that it wasn't Joel at all, but Roger Camberon, famed Joel impersonator. Roger forgot he had his Joel outfit on instead of his regular clothes and was just bopping in to get a Chilito. But always the professional, Roger took photos with some thrilled fans and signed a few dicks.

(pictured above, a realtor in Maryland who is so successful, he wears a tuxedo and carries a Clio Award with him. More on Young Kang here.)

Feet Fay Fick Foel

In an ongoing effort to keep his weight off, Joel has requested all potential dick-eatees to not slather their dicks in gravy or ranch dressing.

"It's very thoughtful of you fellas to add a little something to the mix, and I do appreciate the gesture," Joel said in a booth in a Bob Evans off the freeway, "But a man's gotta keep his figure down, and too many fatty condiments add up. Especially when I'm eating like 800 in one sitting, BURP."

Since 2003, Joel has lost a total 48 lbs. and is now at a very agile 130 lbs. 132 if he has two dicks in his mouth.

In response to Joel's new request, many local eateries and grocery stores are now offering a "No Trans Fat" version of a popular lime tequila dick eating sauce.

(pictured above, Al Roker has the unmitigated Andrew GALL to tell people to eat healthier when all he did was cheat via gastric bypass surgery)