Meanwhile, At The Gaslight Restaurant...

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Yes?"

"I ordered the fish fritters, but you brought me the chicken strips."

"No, you ordered the chicken strips."

"Um, no. I remember ordering the fish fritters. Because I wanted to try it."

"Where'd you get a crazy idea like that? I wrote down 'chicken strips' when you ordered it. Why are you making things up now?"

"Excuse me?"

"Look, I'm very busy here. I have lots of other tables to wait on, so don't be so selfish and try to lie about ordering fish fritters when it's OBVIOUS you ordered the chicken strips, for Christ's sake. You ORDERED THE CHICKEN STRIPS, OKAY?"

"Uh, okay."

"Enjoy your meal!"

 

Holy Lord, Target

The following mis-shelved (and disheveled) items were spotted last night in a Target over a course of 30 minutes:

Enhance...Enhance...Enhance...

Spotted in Brooklyn...


...a crossing light altered with black tape...


...to make rock 'n roll 'devil horns.'

Dick To the Future

An unconfirmed source has leaked that Joel was unceremoniously dropped as spokesman for Glide Comfort Plus Dental Floss.

Representatives and lawyers from Crest Corporation held a conference at a Chili's Express in Audobon, New Jersey.

"Joel has been an exemplary figurehead for getting big chunks of meat from between his teeth," said attorney Myron Noodleman, "Glide Comfort Plus has been lucky to have his services for the last 8 months, but we feel that we're being pigeonholed as purely a dick floss due to the association with Joel."

Crest has opted to honor the contract with Joel and pay him the twelve crates of dick without him having to film any more commercials or make any more appearances at malls.

Joel has since started negotiations with a local toothpick company, Woodflickers.

(pictured above, through the magic of modern technology– and with a little help from MIS– Dean picks boogers from 700 miles away)