Gettin Paid in 2025

Pictured below, former meme guy from 2010 parlays his internet fame into a suitable endorsement deal.

 

Get that bag, Antoine!

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

 Here's the latest in hip hop mixtape artwork:

A ski mask and a nap is all I need too, buddy.

But sure, maybe the edge of a sink is comfy, too.

Latto about to finish her shift at the local carwash, completely unaware of the nearby camera.

"Fine Ho, Stay" is not the Lego Movie sequel I was expecting.

Still waiting for that new Blade movie from Marvel.

Oh JEEZ, I'm not touching this one.

The EADJ Sticker Show Comes Back For No Particular Reason

Once again, we spot a bunch of random stickers around town and summon the power of Google to explain their raisons d'être.

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"Don't Hate, Procreate."
Location: Midtown NYC
Possible Meaning: a pro-life movement in New Jersey?

Googling this phrase with the word "sticker" resulted in a lot of anti-Obama right wing stickers, which is odd.

But we did find a version of it on a t-shirt with the New Jersey state for the "O" in "PROCREATE." Still no idea what it could mean.

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"Paone Dezire 145.60"
Location: Soho NYC
Possible Meaning: The name of some dude who charges $145.60 in Bitcoin for a back rub.

Googling "Paone," "Deszire" and "145.60" brought us to a similar photo on Pingram with the same sticker. And then another shot on Instagram revealed a comment by user "pane_nyc" who turns out to be a Brooklyn-based graffiti artist. who at one point DID have stickers out and about. So, that's certainly a possibility.

Maybe? Results are 12% inconclusive.

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"BRWTNESS"

Location: Prague, Czech Republic

Possible Meaning: Either an Armani Exchange knockoff brand or the logo for a neo-Nazi youth movement.

Bingo! It's a skate brand with other pithy t-shirt designs as "FUCK," "Middle Finger," and "FUCK YOU DIE" (with middle finger).

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(Unknown Anchor Symbol with E and M)

Location: Jersey Shore

Possible Meaning: A funky brand of rugged nautical children's wear?

Gah. This is a toughie. I tried to Google "EM Anchor Wings" but nothing came up except images of plates of hot wings. I tried to isolate the logo and run it through reverse image search engine Tineye.com, but nuttin' came up.

Result: Frustratingly inconclusive.

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"Young Whales"

Location: Union, NJ

Possible Meaning: Ironic hipster rock band makes fun of Capitalism in their kid-friendly songs.

First Google result was a closed down online shop. Then another link showed that this was in fact another brand of urban clothing, run by NY Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz and launched with his fellow Giants rookie Nate Collins in 2010.

Phew. Only 2 out of 5 solved. We should Google harder next time.

Fashion/Song Lyrics Round Up

Hold me now. It's hard for me to say I'm sari.

Now whip it

Into shape

Shape it up

Get straight

Go forward

Take the A train

Try to find it

Where the fuck is it

So, Senator,

So, Janitor,

So long for a while

Remember, You're never fully dressed

Without a smile! 

On a warm summer's eve

On a train bound for nowhere

I met up with the gambler

We were both too tired to sleep

So we took turns a-starin'

Out the window at the darkness

The boredom overtook us, he began to text

You oughta be in pictures,

You're wonderful to see,

You oughta be in pictures, 

Oh what a hit you would be! 

My Adidas

walked through concert doors

and roamed all over coliseum floors

I stepped on stage, at Live Aid

All the people gave and the poor got paid

[No lyrics, just instrumental traditional Bolivian music]

Let's Store Vegetables in the EADJ Mail Sack To Keep Their Freshness Longer!

Submitted by Kat, a puzzling CAPTCHA she got while buying tickets:

Joel MacDonald Ate A Dick, E-A-E-A-D-J

What to do, what to do.

Joel locked himself out of the apartment this morning when he took some used dick containers out to the trash. Unfortunately, it was still 4am, and none of his neighbors were up yet. So Joel tried to fall asleep on one of the lounge chairs by the pool.

The nearsighted security guard Paolo saw a figure sleeping by the pool and just assumed it was a bum who wandered onto the premises. He swung his truncheon onto Joel's shins, creating a loud CRACK that woke him up.

But before Joel had a chance to protest and explain his situation, Paolo had bagged him in a lawn trash bag and proceeded to throw him over the hedges into an adjoining construction site, which was a good 30 foot drop.

Joel's chimp servant Chad Yarborough enjoyed a very quiet, leisurely breakfast.

(pictured above, the actual bed that I slept in while visiting my cousin in New Jersey)