Showing posts with label eddie murphy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label eddie murphy. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Spotted On 2nd Avenue
A banner for an upcoming hospital that I swear was for an upcoming shitty romantic comedy starring Katherine Heigl (or Kate Hudson) and Ryan Reynolds (or Owen Wilson).
Coming Soon: Urgent Care, the story of a pretty but harried nurse who's too busy taking care of others... when she should be caring for her heart.
(cue Peter Gabriel's "Solsbury Hill")
Meet Allison. (shot of Katherine Heigl (or Anne Hathaway) carrying a stack of bed pans)
She's in charge at St. Bartholomew, until she meets the new resident, Doctor Halbert (shot of Ryan Reynolds (or Gerard Butler) walking slo-mo down the hall with a clipboard.)
(cut to her running into him, dropping all the bedpans. Katherine Heigl (or Rachel McAdams) gets all huffy while Ryan Reynolds (or Channing Tatum) smiles dumbly)
Things in the ER just got a little more intense. (cut to montage of hectic and sometimes wacky events happening in the hospital which culminates with Katherine Heigl (or Scarlett Johansson) and Ryan Reynolds (or Hugh Jackman) inevitably falling in love)
(cue "Everywhere" by Michelle Branch)
Urgent Care. Rated PG-13. In theatres Jan 4 and on DVD the next week.
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I guess I've been conditioned to associate big red type for shitty comedies over the years.
Amazing how Eddie Murphy is in most of them.
Coming Soon: Urgent Care, the story of a pretty but harried nurse who's too busy taking care of others... when she should be caring for her heart.
(cue Peter Gabriel's "Solsbury Hill")
Meet Allison. (shot of Katherine Heigl (or Anne Hathaway) carrying a stack of bed pans)
She's in charge at St. Bartholomew, until she meets the new resident, Doctor Halbert (shot of Ryan Reynolds (or Gerard Butler) walking slo-mo down the hall with a clipboard.)
(cut to her running into him, dropping all the bedpans. Katherine Heigl (or Rachel McAdams) gets all huffy while Ryan Reynolds (or Channing Tatum) smiles dumbly)
Things in the ER just got a little more intense. (cut to montage of hectic and sometimes wacky events happening in the hospital which culminates with Katherine Heigl (or Scarlett Johansson) and Ryan Reynolds (or Hugh Jackman) inevitably falling in love)
(cue "Everywhere" by Michelle Branch)
Urgent Care. Rated PG-13. In theatres Jan 4 and on DVD the next week.
-------
I guess I've been conditioned to associate big red type for shitty comedies over the years.
Amazing how Eddie Murphy is in most of them.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Introducing: ClearPlay!
I found this flyer in a Methodist Church in North Carolina:
Wow, I can edit sex, violence, AND profanity on regular DVD's? Especially if I feel like the MPAA Ratings Board isn't doing a good enough job of warning me of objectionable content? You mean, I can protect my family's Christian values while still getting to enjoy "Happy Gilmore" without all the tits and swearing? Yes, worry no more with the Prudemaster9000™.
Possibly the best part of the flyer are the "customer comments:"
Click the photo to enlarge or click here.
Gayla (not a stripper name) from Summerfield said, "I requested a filter for "Get Shorty" a while ago and was excited to see it on a new filter list. Thank you so much!"
Hey, Gayla. Uh, I hate to break it to you, but "Get Shorty" isn't all that nasty a movie. And if your kids can't handle the word "shit" or "fuck" like three times in a movie, maybe you should have to wait FOURTEEN YEARS until you can watch it. And maybe in 2025 you can enjoy its sequel, "Be Cool."
So on the ClearPlay website, they show a list of the movies that have been successfully filtered for Jesus. Amazingly, the Kirk Cameron Christian blockbuster "Fireproof" is on that list! What could possibly be on there that ClearPlay found objectionable? I guess they edited out the big cunnilingus scene. Too bad.
It does make me wonder what would happen if you tried watching "The Sopranos" or "Caligula" on that player. Maybe it would implode or shoot the DVDs at your throat. I'm just glad that "No" from "No Location" was finally allowed to watch "Daddy Day Care" without that black man's dirty mouth!
Wow, I can edit sex, violence, AND profanity on regular DVD's? Especially if I feel like the MPAA Ratings Board isn't doing a good enough job of warning me of objectionable content? You mean, I can protect my family's Christian values while still getting to enjoy "Happy Gilmore" without all the tits and swearing? Yes, worry no more with the Prudemaster9000™.
Possibly the best part of the flyer are the "customer comments:"
Click the photo to enlarge or click here.
Gayla (not a stripper name) from Summerfield said, "I requested a filter for "Get Shorty" a while ago and was excited to see it on a new filter list. Thank you so much!"
Hey, Gayla. Uh, I hate to break it to you, but "Get Shorty" isn't all that nasty a movie. And if your kids can't handle the word "shit" or "fuck" like three times in a movie, maybe you should have to wait FOURTEEN YEARS until you can watch it. And maybe in 2025 you can enjoy its sequel, "Be Cool."
So on the ClearPlay website, they show a list of the movies that have been successfully filtered for Jesus. Amazingly, the Kirk Cameron Christian blockbuster "Fireproof" is on that list! What could possibly be on there that ClearPlay found objectionable? I guess they edited out the big cunnilingus scene. Too bad.
It does make me wonder what would happen if you tried watching "The Sopranos" or "Caligula" on that player. Maybe it would implode or shoot the DVDs at your throat. I'm just glad that "No" from "No Location" was finally allowed to watch "Daddy Day Care" without that black man's dirty mouth!
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