1) The fat guy with the beard wearing red was NOT Santa Claus in disguise
2) The male lead had an pumpkin-orange dong
3) The phrase "Pumpkin Everything" was a euphemism for sexual intercourse with every orifice
4) Everybody dies in the end, like in Hamlet
5) It's hard to tell but almost every actor in this production was actually a Target mannequin wearing a sweater
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