InfoWars continues its war on info as Alex Jones's staff of writers create brand new unverifiable conspiracies for him to hoarsely vomit on air. Here now are stories you can expect to see in the coming month:
• Auntie Anne is a lesbian and makes pretzels because it arouses her to twist things into knots, wink wink
• Spirit Airlines charges an extra "saved soul tax" if you're a Christian
• It must really be a bummer to be in the team that forms Voltron but only be like the left leg. How boring would that be? (not really a conspiracy, but something to think about)
• If you bowl a perfect 300 at your local bowling alley, the manager is required to send your name to the FBI to flag as a possible "bowling insurgent"
• Men who wear muttonchops are part of a secret society that drink from steins and ride recumbent bicycles. The group is called "The Embarrassing Uncles".
• If you ever find a woman's G-spot, she is required to send your name to the FBI as a possible "Female Body Inspector"
No comments:
Post a Comment