Hollywood, now completely out of ideas, continues to scour every last part of the modern world for movie script sources–the latest being the air freshener aisle at your local CVS. Major movie studios are in fact in a bidding war for the rights to the different air freshener flavors to release as movies. Here are the latest upcoming titles:
"Fresh-Pressed Apple" starring Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly and Gillian Jacobs.
Two rival apple farmers go to war over the heart of an attractive young horticulturist who just moved into town. Directed by Adam McKay.
"Linen Escape" starring Megan Fox, Adam Scott and Don Cheadle
A blanket businessman (Cheadle) is confronted by two criminals (Fox and Scott) who are trying to use his credentials to rob the bedding convention he's attending. Also starring Ed Helms as the CEO of MyPillow.
"Elegant Amber & Oud" starring Rami Malek and Amber Heard
This sweeping cross-cultural romance stars Malek as Oud who woos Amber (Heard) with his impressive stringed instrument technique. Set in the romantic Saudi city of Tabuk, it captures the beauty and wonder of Arabic nightlife as experienced by a basic white girl.
"Blue Odyssey" starring Jeremy Renner, Viola Davis and Don Johnson
A charter boat captain (Renner) is paid a small fortune to take a mysterious woman (Davis) to an off-the-map island, no questions asked. He quickly finds himself in a web of intrigue involving the mafia, NASA, the Pillsbury Doughboy (voiced by Don Johnson) and fourteen Del Taco workers. Rated R
"Mediterranean Lavender" starring Kate Hudson, Emily Browning and Regina King
A bachelorette party in Barcelona goes off the rails when the club they're partying in gets taken over by ecoterrorists, headed by Peter Stormare. They make weapons out of what they have on hand–champagne glasses, silverware, and a giant joke dildo–to fight back. Rated PG-13 for language and a giant joke dildo.
"Blood Orange" starring Zendaya, Emma Roberts, Ansel Elgort and Robert Pattinson
A remote orange farm in the town of Limeira, Brazil is the setting for this moody, dark murder mystery. A farmer's daughter is found murdered, and her fiancé has no alibi, but there's more to this story... Soundtrack by Tati Zaqui and Kevinho.
"Aqua Exhilaration" starring Zac Efron, Mckenna Grace, John Boyega and Zoë Kravitz
Four carefree dumbasses sit in a parking lot throwing water at each other. Running time: 150 minutes
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