Friday, April 15, 2016

Some Movie Ideas Based On Names of Incense Sold At A Local Convenience Store

Hollywood is out of ideas, etc etc, so they're desperately mining every avenue for new movie ideas, etc etc, including the shitty incense section of a shitty convenience store in Union, New Jersey, etc etc. end of setup. Here now are movies scheduled for release soon:

"Egyptian Musk" starring Iman, Eddie Murphy, Naomi Campbell, Tevin Campbell and Kevin Hart
Two time traveling criminals (Murphy and Hart)  find themselves in the court of Cleopatra Selene II herself. They try to steal her gold or something and fall in love in the process. Also starring David Keith as the god Aten.

"PUSSY Cat" starring Dominic Purcell, Alan Tudyk and Kelly Brook.
A nymphomaniac pervert deviant (Tudyk) tries to fly straight but starts getting distracted by the two oversexed neighbors in his trailer park (Purcell and Brook).

"FIERCE" starring Andy Cohen, Andy Dick and Alec Mapa.
Things in San Francisco's Castro district heat up when two warring roommates and ex-lovers try to settle their differences with a third party intervention, who also happens to be an interior designer/wedding planner. Soundtrack by Calvin Harris, Armin van Buuren and John Digweed.

"Cool Water" starring Joan Van Ark, Donna Mills, and Hunter Tylo. Three of the bitchiest bitches in Albuquerque fight to seize control of the lucrative local seltzer water industry. Also starring Jeff Fahey as the land owner and Antonio Sabato Jr. as a torso.

"Butt Naked" starring Kevin James and Tom Green. Also released internationally as "No Fucking Thanks."

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