President Barack Obama, while serving two terms, has endured years of obstructionist politics, thinly-veiled racist questions about his citizenship and religion, and even the occasional dismissal of not being "black enough" by cable news pundits. What he doesn't realize, however, is that there is an entire cottage industry of Obama-hating in the form of cheap vinyl stickers you can buy and stick on the back of your racismobile. Here now is an objective rating of the "Calvin pissing on Obama" stickers for sale online:
Visual: Calvin pissing through the Obama logo.
Pros: Full 4-color printing
Cons: Relies on the outdated Obama campaign logo which is hardly seen anymore
Overall rating: 8 out of 10. Simple and iconic, but ultimately confusing (to the target audience).
Visual: Calvin pissing atop the Obama logo.
Pros: Full color Obama logo the main focus and direct the eye.
Cons: Still relies on the outdated Obama campaign logo. Actually a nice reproduction of it.
Overall rating: 6 out of 10. Bonus points for the nice custom die cutting.
Visual: Calvin pissing on the word "OBAMA"
Pros: Simple and to the point.
Cons: Kind of lazy, really. Calvin looks like he has cardinal eyes.
Overall rating: 4 out of 10.
Visual: Female Calvin (??????) pissing on the word "OBAMA" with the "O" as his logo.
Pros: Ambitious and breaking out of the mold
Cons: NOT LADYLIKE AT ALL. And are her pans even pulled down? Disgusting.
Overall rating: 2 out of 10. I know these things aren't supposed to be in good taste in the first place, but JEEZ.
Visual: Another female Calvin pissing on the word "OBAMA"
Pros: She removed her panties this time.
Cons: The mullet. The heart ass tattoo. Also, not much of a tinkle there, really. And the word "OBAMA" somehow resembles the word "SPAM" if you're not looking close enough.
Overall rating: 2 out of 10.
Visual: Generic "cool guy" pissing on the word "OBAMA"with the "O" as his logo.
Pros: Able to avoid copyright infringement.
Cons: I really lose the evil glee when there are sunglasses on.
Overall rating: 5 out of 10.
Visual: Happy coal miner pissing on the word "OBAMA" while holding a flag next to the words "SAVE COAL"
Pros: A clear, political message. A smoky miner's face with a lily white ass.
Cons: Both oversimplified and overcomplicated. While it is true the Obama administration pushed to create new "clean energy" jobs and technologies, making America more energy independent, and reducing carbon emissions through the Clean Energy and the Recovery Act, this only indirectly impacted the current coal industry.
Overall rating: 7 out of 10. Boy, look at that healthy yellow stream!
Visual: Rude cowboy pissing on the word "OBAMA"with the "O" as his logo.
Pros: To the point.
Cons: Why the black nail polish? Is that cowboy a goth?
Overall rating: 4 out of 10.
Visual: Calvin pissing on what appears to be Barack Obama's head
Pros: No text! Also, points for not getting to racial stereotype with Obama's features.
Cons: Beyond fucking awful. Bill Watterson would lose sleep over this one.
Overall rating: 1 out of 10.
Visual: Stu pissing on the word "OBAMA"
Pros: Great for Millennials, who have never read Calvin and Hobbes!
Cons: Kind of off brand for some reason. Rednecks watch "Family Guy?"
Overall rating: 3 out of 10.
Visual: Calvin with a backwards cap pissing on the word "OBAMA"
Pros: A bro-ish update to a classic!
Cons: Very poorly rendered. It looks like he's bleeding on the word.
Overall rating: 3 out of 10.
Visual: Calvin with a FORWARDS cap reading "LIBERTY" pissing on the word "OBAMA"
Pros: A point for liberty and against Obama, right? Is that what it's saying?
Cons: Very disrespectful to the Liberty Mutual Insurance Company.
Overall rating: 3 out of 10. That kid looking Asian doesn't clear up my confusion any.
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