Thursday, August 7, 2014

New EADJ Segment: Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Seen


Empire State, starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Liam Hemsworth and Nancy Drew

Dwayne Johnson as Cody: (as they enter the police station) "Do you know what your problem is, Macguire? You take a bullet like a woman."


Playing For Keeps, starring Gerard Butler, Jessica Biel & Uma Thurman

Gerard Butler as Kip Young: "Why have I never settled down? Just look at me!"



Killing Season, starring John Travolta and Robert De Niro

Robert De Niro as Sully Cox: "These fuckers are trying to corner us."

John Travolta as Thorpe: "Well, let's box 'em out, then."



D2: The Mighty Ducks, starring Emilio Estevez

Emilio Estevez as Coach Walter Annex: "You think you're hot stuff just because you won one championship? Well, that's what they're expecting- they're expecting you to be weak and HAPPY. Well, I'm here to tell you that you've got a lot of reasons to still be MAD! Cammy, you still suck at your Russian lunges! Lil' Dougie, I hope you don't think that's what you call a dump and chase, because that stuff is WEAK. What are you laughing at, Toto? Get that taco out of your mouth and work on your goaltending! Yeah, I said it! Get MAD, Ducks!"


Safe Haven, starring Josh Duhamel and Julianne Hough

Julianne Hough as Maisie: "I think I'm falling in love with you."

Josh Duhamel as Calgon: "You have cancer."


Safe Haven, starring Neil Patrick Harris, Hank Azaria and Jayma Mays

Neil Patrick Harris: (to camera) "Here we Smurf again!" (winks and collects unironic but cynical paycheck)


End of Watch, starring Jake Gyllenhaal and That Hispanic Actor Whose Name You've Never Learned Because You're a Straight-up Racist

That Hispanic Actor Whose Name You've Never Learned Because You're a Straight-up Racist as Guillermo: "Should we call for back up?'
Jake Gyllenhaal as Vic: "No. We don't need witnesses for this."


The Last Stand, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Johnny Knoxville

Arnold Schwarzenegger as Dev James: (looking at a customized helicopter/tank combo with a gatling gun and four rocket launchers as Papa Roach's "Getting Away With Murder" blares from the speakers) "Nice."




Let's Be Cops, starring Jake Johnson & Damon Wayans Jr.

Jake Johnson & Damon Wayans Jr. as Huck and Doobie: (singing in their squad car at a stop light)  All that she wants is another baby / She's gone tomorrow boy / All that she wants is another baby / All that she wants is another baby 

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