This Week: ALL UGLY ANDREW GALL ENTRIES

 You may not have noticed, but last week we skipped featuring our blog crutch entry Ugly Andrew Gall. But were back with a vengeance this week, using ALL UAG entries. So enjoy!

Spotted on Facebook

With so many people in lockdown, Walmart found it important that kids have both a place to sleep and an area to have coffee with a friend when they wake up.

Pathmark Your Calendars

This one appears to have been a bad moms' party in the baby aisle:

6 Lies Told By the Mount Vernon Brochure

1) New York is the 24th state with the most violent crime rate. You might want to bring your pepper spray than walk around unprotected.

2) Actually closed on George Washington's birthday and during Freaknik.

3) This little shed was George Washington's man room, full of comics, porn and Playstation 1 games.

4) "The distillery" and "gristmill" are both nicknames for the same gift shop.

5) Yes, this is the original Jaws prop from the movie "Moonraker."

6) Free wifi. The password is "1STBITCHES"

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Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

This is only slightly more offensive than the actual Barbie dolls.

My desert island album: not this mixtape.

The new iPhone 8 is going to be so expensive, you're better off talking into a stack of hunnids.

Fiber. And the printed word.

I swear I think I see Luanne Platter's ass from "King of the Hill" in there somewhere.

Oh, don't remind me of that awful Mark Wahlberg "Planet of the Apes" movie.

I imagine not being able to understand a word he raps.

Okay, can we all just agree that a shot of a rapper blowing smoke isn't creative anymore? It's about as edgy and interesting as a steaming bowl of oatmeal. Yay, oatmeal.

Starbucks Announces New Ground Coffee Blend Brands

For years now, Starbucks has sold special house brands of coffee blends at their locations for home brewing. Top selling titles like Gold Coast Blend and Rwanda Hingakawa bring the Starbucks brand in the home and provide a more personal alternative to the coffeeshop experience.

Here now are some new coffee blend labels that Starbucks is releasing later this year:

• Kentucky Sour Mash Coffee

• St. Louis Racial Unrest-accino

• Professor Fartfuck's Cuntin' Dinglecockring Pussyslappers

• Brooklyn Old Jew Blend

• Cleveland LeGround James

• San Antonio Tex-Mex Spicy Espresso

• Austin Weirdo Soap-Flakes-And-Glitter Decaf Blend

• Gotham Dead Parents Hazelnut

• Las Vegas Dark Regret

How To Write A Completely Non-Endorsing LinkedIn Recommendation

1) Use vague language to describe the person's job instead of the quality of their work.

2) Focus on how nice they are as a person, not at the quality of their work.

3) Write more about YOURSELF, instead of the quality of their work.

4) Use accurate but verbose language to describe the quality of their work.

5) Sound like an idiot, so that any recommendation you write actually backfires.