This Week: ALL UGLY ANDREW GALL ENTRIES

 You may not have noticed, but last week we skipped featuring our blog crutch entry Ugly Andrew Gall. But were back with a vengeance this week, using ALL UAG entries. So enjoy!

UAG

14 Surprising Things Millennials Do and Don't Do

1) They don't say ".com" when mentioning sites like Match.com, Monster.com or Bestgore.com

2) When sharing a ride in a Lyft car, they don't feel the need to make conversation or even acknowledge other human beings. Like look at this asshole:

3) They know every lyric to every A$AP Mob song, but they've never heard of Kurt Cobain.

4) They don't make eye contact, shake hands, or smile.

5) If you ask them about "Duck Tales," they'll ejaculate in their skinny jeans.

6) If you leave any of your belongings outside near them, they'll compost it.

7) You can disperse a crowd of them by throwing a small ball of gluten.

8) The only media they trust is Instagram blogging star Cazz♮8⬟☠🙇SiswPO who has over 895 trillion followers.

9) They only communicate via memes, emoticons and gifs.

10) If you took away their phones, they would lose the ability to defecate and would eventually die.

11) You can temporarily distract them with a bowl of glass shards or an Etch-A-Sketch painted silver.

12) They are the first generation not to claim to be spiritual or religious, which is just as well since they don't have souls to begin with.

13) A group of them is called a gaggle. No, wait. Those are geese. I like them.

14) Good news! They're currently trending but will soon be jaded and bitter like the rest of us.