EADJ Pun Police: Hall Monitor Edition

"All right, guys. The third period bell is about to ring, so make your way to your classrooms. Anyone caught in the hallway will get a tardy or a trip to the principal. And let's keep any puns to a minimum."

"A sign in an Indian eatery. Ugh. Really? They couldn't do better than '(curry)ently?' That's a stern warning from me."

"Simply Ear-Resistable? That means it is resistable, but with ears. BAD BUNNY."

"Okay, this one is waffle... I mean, AWFUL. It deserves a write up. Easily a mark on your record there."

"HAIR YE, HAIR YE. Oh that is painful. Plus the second sentence is just the worst. Here's your violation slip– go directly to the principal's office. And NO RUNNING."

"Aggghh! So many puns! Too many! I'm gonna need back up! Mr. Senheim, come out to the hallway! I'm in over my head here! HEEEELLLLLPP!"

The ProofrEADJer, Last-Holiday-Shopping Edition

The ProofrEADJer, Birth Of Our Nation Edition

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

 

"No, not again. I... why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days, I just kick this piece of shit out the window. Also I BEAT WOMEN."

 

Sean Price really hates it when gorillas make fun of his rugby shirts.

 

Craig G is frustrated at how American Apparel clothes only come in XS sizes.

 

Cee Lo needs to stop sitting in big, ridiculous looking red things.

 

Frankly, I don't know where to start here. But if it has Gucci Mane and the word "trap" on the cover, you can that hip hop's for shit.

 

A very tiny rapper has zero tolerance for the defacing of public property. Now, how is he going to carry away these comically large wads of dollars?

 

Plies is so punctual that he showed up at traffic court before anyone else did. Ancient computer on the table!

 

Don't play Scrabble with Rocko, btw. He grabs more tiles than he needs and upsets the board if you call him on it.

UAG

Spotted At a Book Exchange

And Then The Universe Folded In On Itself.

A Man, A Plan, 48 Dicks, Panama!

If wishes were horses, Joel would eat all of those horses' dicks.


Today was a harrowing ordeal of scheduling for Joel. He had a dick-eating event at the Beverly Center at the same time he was supposed to eat dick on the half-court line during a Clippers game in the Staples Center. Howard Earle, his agent and publicist, said that the double-booking was unfortunate but was an indication of Joel's growing popularity. That Howard!

(pictured above, a joke gets less funny now that Joel has fully embraced it)