I know at this point, it looks like I'm looking for trouble- luring men and breaking their hearts. But honestly, I'm just a simple claims adjuster who has an after-work cocktail now and then. It's just been my extreme misfortune to be accosted by so many creepy musicians from the 80s! If there were another bar besides The Breakfast Club Bar near my work, believe me, I'd be going there instead!
One of the things I enjoy is having my drink over by the window. That way I can spot Tammy or Debora (not Debra or Deborah with the H) and call them inside to share a drinkie. But lately these guys named The Tubes have noticed me in the window and have started calling unwanted attention my way. Here is my point-by-point rebuttal of what they've been saying:
1) "Step right up and don't be shy / Because you will not believe your eyes / She's right here behind the glass / And you're gonna like her 'Cause she's got class" What the fuck? I'm minding my own business in a window, and now these assholes are charging admission for people to look at me? What about my privacy?!
2) "You can look inside another world / You get to talk to a pretty girl / She's everything you dream about / But don't fall in love" You can knock on the window or put your number on a piece of paper and put it against the glass, but I'm not talking to you.
3) "She's a beauty / She's one in a million girls / She's a beauty / Why would I lie? / Why would I lie?" You'd lie because I can read your lips that you're charging $5 to "check out this MILF's sexy gams". That does it. I'm calling the police next time I see you out there, Tubes.
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