Movie: Crystal Inferno
Starring: Claire Forlani (Clerks) and Jamie Bamber (Battlestar Galactica)
What's Up With The Lead Actor's Cock: It's burning at the bottom. Probably from some sort of sexually transmitted disease like chlamydia or gonorrhea, but could also be a bacterial infection.
Next Steps: Claire should probably get tested for STDs. Jamie should visit a clinic and put some cream on it.
Movie: Flashburn
Starring: Sean Patrick Flanery (KAW!) and Cameron Richardson (huh?)
What's Up With The Lead Actor's Cock: It too is burning, but with a FLASH! Possibly from foreign bioluminescent material or a leaky glow stick.
Next Steps: Cameron should check her body for glowy parts and get tested for STDs ASAP TCBY. Sean should sit in a bath of warm molasses just to be safe.
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