Wednesday, February 24, 2016

The EADJ Pun Police: Riot Cop Edition

Hoo boy. They're a lot of them out there, Chad. We better stand shoulder to shoulder like Capt. Wilson said we should. Man, there's a lot of them. Here they come.

'"Once A Pawn A Time?' Whoa, pretty bad. But harmless, really. That horse looks like it's blowing the king, though. Back behind the barricades, please."

"'The steaks have been raised.' That doesn't make any sense. Pretty lazy copywriting there. Come here, you!"

*Body checks with riot shield, sprays with mace*

"I don't know if you can read this past your riot helmet, but it says 'BEETS DON'T KALE MY VIBE.' That is OUT OF LINE, mister!"

*Hurls canister of tear gas into the middle, mounts a horse*

"Oh man. Really?"

*Shoot dead*

"Oh my God. There are too many of them. THERE ARE TOO MANY OF THEM!!!! Back the line up! We're losing the line in the crowd! Holy shit, push them back! PUSH THEM BACK!!! They've taken the horses! Those fences are useless! Oh God, they're taking down the telephone poles! RETREAT! Throw everything you got at them, but pull back, goddammit, PULL BACK! Where's my radio? Duncan, use your radio to... OH GOD, DUNCAN! So many... HOLD THE LINE ON THE LEFT, IF YOU CAN!!!! MAKE A... They're throwing bottles now! Shields! Oh God oh God oh God..."

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