Here Are The Types of Things I Say When A Public Restroom's Paper Towel Dispenser Doesn't Work

"Fuck."

"Shit."

"Come on."

"Fuckin' thing."

"Ay moroni."

"Horsefeathers."

"What the..."

"MOTHERFUCKER."

"Oh cock."

"Jitters vagina."

"#papertoweldispensernotworking"

"BUT I NEED TO DRY MY HANDS!!!!"

"Bugger."

"Fuckjoy."

"Uy uy uy uy uy uy uy."

"Estelle Getty."

"WORK, YOU!"