Every Luxury Car Commercial Voiceover

You know the voice. The smug white guy voice belonging to a well-known actor that reads the voiceover with a smile in his delivery like he just fucked your wife on YOUR BED.

That confident voice can describe abstract concepts like innovation, engineering, or luxury, or more concrete (but boring) features like an aspirated 5.0-Liter V8, adaptive steering, or predictive forward collision warning. And by the way, he just fucked your wife on YOUR BED.

Man, do you want to slap that guy once he steps out of the recording booth. But you can't. Because he's already jetting to Ibiza on a G6 using a flute of champagne to wash YOUR WIFE'S PUBES off his dick.

This entry sponsored by your local Lexus dealer.