Friday, April 24, 2015

Six Lies Told By The Monticello Motor Track Brochure

This was found at the Mall at Short Hills, New Jersey. It's a very high end shopping center where Jamaican nannies push white babies around in strollers to pick up their Janie & Jack dining jackets. This pamphlet invites the wealthy to come drive their million dollar Lamborghinis at their professional-race-level courses.

1) A lifetime only if you have a fatal crash.

2) An exaggeration. Most sports cars are actually not that thrilled to be on the track.

3) This part of the track is actually Old Man Miller's driveway. You really shouldn't be driving on it unless you want Miller to chase you with a shovel.

4) "22 unique turns?"

Left. Right. Straight. Slight left. Slight right.
Those five pretty much cover every turn on this course.

5) The "Radical SR1 Experience" apparently involves driving a racer under a closing garage door.

6) Wearing a crash helmet is just as important to one's safety as NOT WEARING A LANYARD FROM YOUR NECK WHILE RACING.


Six Lies Told is proud to announce The Kings of Six Lies Comedy Tour, starring Edgar Collins, Jackey Mackey, T Dub Soft, and the incomparable Mika Hargrove. These four up and coming urban comedians give it to you straight about the 6 lies that are out there, each recounting them in their own unique style of comedy. Tickets are $1.99 online, $2.99 at the door.

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