Marty McFly's Girlfriend Fails EADJ

Okay, this might be the dumbest EADJ entry you read today (unless you peruse our archives).

Since I am a huge "Star Wars" fan, it's not all that surprising that I am also a majorly huge "Back To The Future" fan. I can tell you the date Doc Brown invented time travel (November 5, 1955). I know that Marty McFly's band in the Battle of the Bands was named The Pinheads. And I know that when Marty crashed the Delorean into Old Man Peabody's barn, his kid pulled out a (fictional) "Tales From Space" comic book. So when it was brought to my attention that Claudia Wells, the actress who played Marty McFly's girlfriend in "Back To The Future" would sign the back of a "Save The Clock Tower" flyer with a personalized "I love you" and her (character's) phone number for a mere $12 plus shipping and handling, I was like, Great Scott!

I'm pretty sure I remember having a crush on Claudia Wells when I was a sophomore in high school. That's not half as creepy as a married man with a crush on her at 42. Shut up.

Now, when I ordered a Claudia Wells-signed flyer, I made *DAMN* sure to fill out the "Special request for autograph?' section. This is literally what I put:

So days later when that shit showed up on my doorstep, you know I was as excited as Griff Tannen (Biff's grandson) was when he had Marty cornered on the pond on the hoverboard in "BTTF 2."

By this time you must be wondering, well, did Claudia Wells from "Back To The Future" actually write EAT A DICK JOEL on a replica prop flyer for me? Did she? I flipped the flyer over.

Goddammit, Claudia! I gave you 14 bucks and CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS on what to write! "Oh, but Jennifer Parker wouldn't write something as off-color as 'Eat a dick, Joel'" she might argue. Well, I don't think a good girl like Jennifer Parker would sneak behind Marty's back and write "I love you" to any Tom, Biff or Harry who throws $14.50 at her, either.

You know what? Whatever. Claudia Wells may have disappointed this fan and this entire blog by not writing the most interesting thing ever on the back of a "Save The Clock Tower" flyer, but I will continue to be a fan of that movie regardless.

This whole experience sort of left a bad taste in my mouth. I almost want to a do-over. Like go back in time to last week when I found out about these flyers and warn myself not to pay the $14.50 to Claudia Wells so that she won't not write "EAT A DICK JOEL" on a stupid flyer that's not even the real flyer from the movie, etc etc etc.