Is "Bickford Shmeckler's Cool Ideas" the story of a likable underdog who uses his brain to win the heart of the popular girl in the end? Sure. But strike the word "likable" away from that sentence, and insert a bunch of unnecessary, unfunny, non-character-building scenes, and I think you'll start to get the idea of this movie.
Okay, it sounds totally harsh that I'm dissecting a lighthearted comedy and demanding the next "Potemkin." But come on now. This is a low-budget film that could have benefitted from
not being so cookie-cutter and formulaic, and the filmmakers could have taken some odd comedic chances here and there instead of depicting dumb college jocks doing beer bongs and stoners smoking out of a pineapple. Also, Bickford is so goddamned serious and self-important, that the fact that he's not popular seems about right in the viewer's eyes. We can't really relate to him, not that we're not dorks, but he's sort of mopey and dull.
And when the very premise of a film looks dull even on paper, you know you're in trouble.
The following conversation is lifted verbatim from this scene:
Sarah:
(reading) Every physical structure in the universe, including ourselves, is in a constant state of flux- minimally and maximally, continuously, continuously. Yet, our lives are lived in ever-flowing still frames of reality, sanity, being the delusion of a comfortable continuity within the vortex of infinite chaos.
(Trent strums his guitar, looks reluctantly at Sarah.)
Sarah: "Vortex of infinite chaos?!" C'mon, you gotta admit that rules!
Trent: … I get it.
Sarah: Well, okay. Then he goes on to talk about how we're all subatomically in flux and emotionally in flux and consciously, and mentally in flux…even our flux is in flux!
Trent: So what?
Sarah: It's just… when you put all these ideas and theories and facts together, and think about them all at the same time, interconnected, your brain kind of *orgasms.*
Trent: You must be stoned off your head.
Sarah: No! I'm telling you, this book actually makes me feel these ideas. I mean, like, tingly in my toes.
Trent: It's cuz you were on a stoner safari when you found it. Like the time you watched "The Seventh Seal" stoned? And we didn't do anything for the next month but stay in and watch stupid Swedish movies?
Sarah: Ingmar Bergman isn't stupid.
Trent: HA!
Sarah: I should just go sleep with this guy. (reading) Copyright Bickford…Shmeckler.
Trent: What kind of sick, twistoid parents would name their kid "Bickford Shmeckler?"
Sarah: I'll ask him.
The following conversation is lifted verbatim from this scene:
(Bickford enters Sarah's studio. Sarah approaches him and kisses him)
Sarah: Thank you SO much!
Beckford:
(impatiently) For what? For what?!
Sarah: Inspiration! God, I read your words, and look what exploded out of me
(indicates painting) I think this is my best work ever.
Beckford: What's the black spot in the middle mean?
Sarah: That's my clitoris. It's a motif– I always put it somewhere in each of my paintings.
(This reviewer gets up, goes to the bathroom and cools off by flushing his head in the toilet)
One sort of saving grace about the DVD is that they included real Dungeons & Dragons weapon and character sheets. Now that's real commitment to a nerd audience.
Still, it doesn't take away from the fact that it's still a subpar movie. Bickford may have won the girl in the end, but I'm pretty sure his character didn't grow or learn any. So essentially a dickish dork lucks out in the tang department.
Overall grade: F+
Is "Bickford Shmeckler's Cool Ideas" the story of a likable underdog who uses his brain to win the heart of the popular girl in the end? Sure. But strike the word "likable" away from that sentence, and insert a bunch of unnecessary, unfunny, non-character-building scenes, and I think you'll start to get the idea of this movie.
Okay, it sounds totally harsh that I'm dissecting a lighthearted comedy and demanding the next "Potemkin." But come on now. This is a low-budget film that could have benefitted from not being so cookie-cutter and formulaic, and the filmmakers could have taken some odd comedic chances here and there instead of depicting dumb college jocks doing beer bongs and stoners smoking out of a pineapple. Also, Bickford is so goddamned serious and self-important, that the fact that he's not popular seems about right in the viewer's eyes. We can't really relate to him, not that we're not dorks, but he's sort of mopey and dull.
And when the very premise of a film looks dull even on paper, you know you're in trouble.
The following conversation is lifted verbatim from this scene:
Sarah: (reading) Every physical structure in the universe, including ourselves, is in a constant state of flux- minimally and maximally, continuously, continuously. Yet, our lives are lived in ever-flowing still frames of reality, sanity, being the delusion of a comfortable continuity within the vortex of infinite chaos.
(Trent strums his guitar, looks reluctantly at Sarah.)
Sarah: "Vortex of infinite chaos?!" C'mon, you gotta admit that rules!
Trent: … I get it.
Sarah: Well, okay. Then he goes on to talk about how we're all subatomically in flux and emotionally in flux and consciously, and mentally in flux…even our flux is in flux!
Trent: So what?
Sarah: It's just… when you put all these ideas and theories and facts together, and think about them all at the same time, interconnected, your brain kind of *orgasms.*
Trent: You must be stoned off your head.
Sarah: No! I'm telling you, this book actually makes me feel these ideas. I mean, like, tingly in my toes.
Trent: It's cuz you were on a stoner safari when you found it. Like the time you watched "The Seventh Seal" stoned? And we didn't do anything for the next month but stay in and watch stupid Swedish movies?
Sarah: Ingmar Bergman isn't stupid.
Trent: HA!
Sarah: I should just go sleep with this guy. (reading) Copyright Bickford…Shmeckler.
Trent: What kind of sick, twistoid parents would name their kid "Bickford Shmeckler?"
Sarah: I'll ask him.
The following conversation is lifted verbatim from this scene:
(Bickford enters Sarah's studio. Sarah approaches him and kisses him)
Sarah: Thank you SO much!
Beckford: (impatiently) For what? For what?!
Sarah: Inspiration! God, I read your words, and look what exploded out of me (indicates painting) I think this is my best work ever.
Beckford: What's the black spot in the middle mean?
Sarah: That's my clitoris. It's a motif– I always put it somewhere in each of my paintings.
(This reviewer gets up, goes to the bathroom and cools off by flushing his head in the toilet)
One sort of saving grace about the DVD is that they included real Dungeons & Dragons weapon and character sheets. Now that's real commitment to a nerd audience.
Still, it doesn't take away from the fact that it's still a subpar movie. Bickford may have won the girl in the end, but I'm pretty sure his character didn't grow or learn any. So essentially a dickish dork lucks out in the tang department.
Overall grade: F+
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