Ashton Kutcher's Other Nikon Commercial Hijinks

By now, we've all seen those irritating Nikon commercials with Ashton Kutcher crashing a snooty party with his Nikon Coolpix camera and taking wacky and crazy and outrageous photos that aren't really wacky, crazy, or outrageous.

The theory here is that the ad agency came up with some "Punk'd" inspired tomfoolery for Ashton to do, but the client got frightened by how illegal, sexual or potentially offensive those suggestions were, so they watered his antics down so a 60 year old could appreciate it without writing an angry letter to Nikon.

EADJ just recently talked to Bo Uruguay, a stagehand who was on the original commercial shoots. It turns out they did film a lot of actually crazy stuff but had to edit it out. Here now are some of the scenes that were left out:

• Ashton dickslaps the waiter, causing him to drop the pheasant under glass
• Ashton rearranges the letters of the "reserved" sign to spell "deserver"
• Ashton sits down like an adult and behaves himself for once, for crying out loud
• Ashton dates someone his own age (zing!)
• Ashton slaps the pipe out of some old coot's mouth and inserts it in an attractive woman's waiting anus
• Ashton makes some real gazpacho and hands it out, insulting the chef
• Ashton takes off his red string Kabbalah bracelet for a millisecond
• Ashton does something actually funny
• Ashton finds an old R&B station on the stereo and cranks the TLC 1994 hit "Creep."
• Ashton illegally downloads "The Butterfly Effect" and seeds the Torrent file for other people to watch for free
• Ashton steals two seat cushions, puts them in his blazer as shoulder pads, and tackles the concierge
• Ashton goes online and mercilessly cyberbullies a 12 year old girl
• Ashton acknowledges that yes, that is FISHER STEVENS in the party scene
• Ashton transforms into a truck
• Ashton purposely mispronounces almost every entree on the restaurant menu
• Ashton reveals that his real name is Hamish Gibbons
• Ashton peels off some of his sunburnt back skin and serves it up as hors d'oevres
• Ashton fades away from the public eye