Kreppuspilið!

Anyone who knows Joel or has read EADJ knows that Joel's second favorite activity is to sit down with his chimp servant Chad Yarborough with a couple of bottles of Ting and play a relaxing game of Kreppuspilið. And Friday night was no exception.

His chimp servant Chad Yarborough was anxious to break Joel's winning streak of 80 straight games and to win back the respect of his fellow chimp servants in the apartment complex. So the opening pleasant chit-chat was dispensed with quickly and they got down to "brass tacks."

Joel rolled a 14 on the 3 rolling dice, landing him squarely on the "A.I.T.A." square. So for the next 6 rounds, Joel had to hold a handful of acorns in his anus. 4 points.

His chimp servant drew a blue "Freestyle" card, so for the next hour, he was allowed to walk along the Santa Monica Promenade and sucker punch pregnant teenagers. 6 points.

Joel's luck didn't change the next round. He had moved his game piece near the "crackle" zone, so he was forced to drink a mug-full of Everclear and call all of his relatives and tell them he was "cracklin' shitfaced." 2 points.

The chimp servant spun the Kreppuspilið spinner, which landed on "Lynn Redgrave." Joel had to wait patiently while the chimp servant watched every movie, short film, and television appearance that the actress Lynn Redgrave had been in, including "Me, Eloise." This turn took 3 weeks.

Joel finally had enough Kreppuspilið cards to collect a "Kreppuspilið" mission card but unfortunately had forgotten to yell "Kreppuspilið!" as outlined by the rules. So another handful of acorns went into his anus. 4 points.

A noisy dog outside had distracted the chimp servant so much that he had rolled a 4 on the pop-up dice. The poor chimp was forced to surrender all his properties and territories to Joel and had to watch Joel loudly stroke one off to release. Rules.

So Joel continues his legendary Kreppuspilið winning streak. But like all great Kreppuspilið champions, Joel refuses to gloat and instead devotes 5 hours of his free time delivering a wheelbarrow full of canned goods to cemeteries and screaming "I'm too late! Kreppuspilið!"