After emptying a pumpkin of all seeds or pulp, draw a pattern for the face on a clean pumpkin with a felt-tip pen, or scribe the lines into the skin using a pencil. Be sure to make the eyes, nose and mouth large enough; you'll have a hard time cutting out tiny features when you're using a big knife blade to saw through tough skin. Follow your pattern as you cut all the way through the pumpkin. Push the cut-out features gently from the inside of the pumpkin and discard the pieces. Place a votive candle inside the pumpkin to create an eerie glow.
And speaking of eerie glows, a guy in Johnsonville, TN tried to get me to install some glowing neon lights on the underside of my town car. I told him, "I'm running a limo service here, not a f***ing carnival!" That shut him up good.
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