The EADJ Crappinema Presents: Stunts

Stunts wasn't the worst movie in the world. But it did suck enough to be sort of enjoyable on a masochistic level. They managed to actually touch on themes like euthanasia, the working class, the importance of teamwork, and the unspoken bond between stuntmen. We can all learn from the stuntmen.









The following is verbatim dialogue for this scene:

Stuntman 1: (toasting with bottle of booze) To tomorrow.

Stuntman2: What's so special about tomorrow?

Stuntman 1: Nuthin', I hope. No bruises, no broken bones, no nuthin'.

Forster: If we keep making the stunts tougher, we're going to get hurt.

Stuntguy 2: Yeah. You guys heard what happened to Bobby Rogers, right? Car well run over him in a gag. So he's laying up in a hospital, he never gonna be able to talk. He's never gonna be able to walk. He's a vegetable!


Stuntman 1: In that condition, I'd just as soon push right on through to the other side.

Robert Forster: Living like that's like living dead.

Stuntman 2: Worse! You might wake up!

Stuntchick: And even worse, Bobby doesn't even have a choice.

Stuntman 2: Why don't we make a deal, man, alright? If one of us takes it in the shorts, the others pull the plug.

Robert Forster: I'm in.

Stuntman 1: Let's all agree, all along.

Stuntchick: I'm in, too.

Stuntman 1: (fumbling in his pockets) Where's my mother's rosary?

END SCENE, COMMERCIAL BREAK FOR THAT SHAMPOO THAT MAKES YOU CUM.















An accidental hit on the DVD Menu takes you to a list of their other fine DVD offerings. With no way to exit.


Hmm. Cocaine Cowboys, Carnival Story, uh huh. Not interested.


Okay, Cock Fighter with Cell Block Girls. Nice try, but no. When is this over?


Yeah, I don't want to see any of these. Hitting MENU does nothing.


Neither does fast forwarding.


Jesus. This is getting ridiculous.


...


Fucking hell. Here's pretty much when I hit EJECT.