New Funding Projects Now on Kickstarter

Every business needs capital to get started. And Kickstarter has announced the latest new ventures looking for funding from you. Feel free to contribute to help these business ideas get off the ground:

• Thongs made entirely from seashells

• Jeans that are so skinny they go inside your legs

• Sodium-free spice for steaks that is definitely not repackaged Mrs. Dash

• Special gender reveal party balloons that incinerate everyone in a 30 ft. radius

• Instruction book "How To Seduce Your Office's H.R. Manager"

• Unique camera zoom lenses that also double as thermoses when it's cold

• Temporary tattoos that say FOREVER

The ProofrEADJer:

You'd think the writers of Elektra would know how to spell her name.

You'd think the owners of Oreo cookies would know how to spell the name.

UAG

"I Think Donald Just Criticized Me For Preparing For This Debate. And Yes, I Did. You Know What Else I Prepared For? I Prepared To Be Pathmark."

The ProofrEADJer, Disturbing Source Material Edition

From deviantART:

From the Dollar Section at the front of Target (not the incomplete word):

From the original edition of Herman Melville's "Moby Dick:"

Don't ask:

From the DRIcore instructional DVD, as reviewed in last week's EADJ DVD Freestyle, which apparently shows you how to build a hidden sex dungeon:

Let's Turn Up The Hose Pressure Of The EADJ Mail Sack!

This from Emily Kane via MMS:

"Please blog about this amazing watch hat."

I have now blogged about this amazing watch hat.

EADJ Song Hate: "Without You" by David Guetta ft. Usher

Back in January of 2010 we had a holiday entry that judged a good singer from a bad from the way they enunciated a certain phrase.

Today on EADJ Song Hate, we have an example where a singer not only fails that test but repeats it dozens of times in one song, just poking at your eardrums with his lazy run-on of words that irritates beyond belief.

If you're unfortunate not to have an MP3 or CD player in your car, you've heard this Top Forty hit on the radio at some point in the last few months:



The cornball lyrics go like this:

I can't win, I can't reign
I will never win this game
Without you, without you
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you

But thanks to Usher's terrible enunciation, this is what you hear:

I can't win, I can't reign
I will never win this game
Without chew, without chew
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without chew, without chew

You hear that? Despite his impressive vocal acrobatics and soulful tremolo, Usher mashes the words "without" and "you" together to make a dripping Sloppy Joe of a lyric. "Without chew."

Now, go back and play that YouTube clip again. That shit will irritate the everbreathing fuck out of you now like it does us.


Normally, here on Song Hate we'd break down why the lyrics are awful or why the melody is annoying, but it's really not the most terrible song in the world without all the "ch" sounds. And we don't even dislike David Guetta or Usher. Although we might have to go back and reconsider a lot of Usher songs.


Um, that's about it. Let's hoist this motherfucker up into the rafters of musicdom and never talk about it again. Dave, Usher, you two are excused.