EADJ Song Hate: "Without You" by David Guetta ft. Usher

Back in January of 2010 we had a holiday entry that judged a good singer from a bad from the way they enunciated a certain phrase.

Today on EADJ Song Hate, we have an example where a singer not only fails that test but repeats it dozens of times in one song, just poking at your eardrums with his lazy run-on of words that irritates beyond belief.

If you're unfortunate not to have an MP3 or CD player in your car, you've heard this Top Forty hit on the radio at some point in the last few months:



The cornball lyrics go like this:

I can't win, I can't reign
I will never win this game
Without you, without you
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you

But thanks to Usher's terrible enunciation, this is what you hear:

I can't win, I can't reign
I will never win this game
Without chew, without chew
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without chew, without chew

You hear that? Despite his impressive vocal acrobatics and soulful tremolo, Usher mashes the words "without" and "you" together to make a dripping Sloppy Joe of a lyric. "Without chew."

Now, go back and play that YouTube clip again. That shit will irritate the everbreathing fuck out of you now like it does us.


Normally, here on Song Hate we'd break down why the lyrics are awful or why the melody is annoying, but it's really not the most terrible song in the world without all the "ch" sounds. And we don't even dislike David Guetta or Usher. Although we might have to go back and reconsider a lot of Usher songs.


Um, that's about it. Let's hoist this motherfucker up into the rafters of musicdom and never talk about it again. Dave, Usher, you two are excused.

An Ad Spotted in An In-Flight Magazine

An ad for Blu "premier" electronic cigarettes- not those cheapo ghetto electronic cigarettes you grab at any bodega- endorsed by "DJ Heavy Grinder."

So it's a no-tar, no-ash, no-odor, electronic cigarette that makes you look like you're sucking on a pen light. But is it still addictive and cause cancer in infants? I hope so.

It sort of makes sense that a girl with colored contacts, dyed hair and a faux fur would endorse a fake cigarette. And her man hands makes me think DJ Heavy Grinder's got another secret. Pickle!

Here's the link to Blu Cigs.

And here's DJ Heavy Grinder's myspace page.

The EADJ Crappinema Presents: My Boys Are Good Boys

My Boys Are Good Boys tells the tale of a group of teenage delinquents who sneak out of prison to pull off an armored car heist. The movie explores universal themes like relationships and spraying cops with homemade sedative devices that dispense stolen medical anesthesia. The kids eventually don't get away with the crime, so it's a cautionary tale about civic responsibility and the fleeting nature of friendship. If they had gotten away with it, it would have been a high-spirited romp about teamwork and the eternal bonds of friendship.











The following is verbatim dialogue for this scene:

Mrs. Morton: Did you hear what Priscilla said? She's getting straight A's in chemistry.

Bert Morton: mumble

Mrs. Morton: Is that all you have to say?

Bert Morton: Very nice, Priscilla.

Cassie: Thank you, Mr. Morton.

Mrs. Morton: Bert, you make me so angry. You don't care about anybody but yourself.

Bert Morton: I said very nice. Enough.

Mrs. Morton: It's a whole lot better than that son of yours ever did.

Bert Morton: Tommy is your son too, Bess. If you spent at least the amount of time as you did with her, he'd be okay.

Cassie: Excuse me, but I'll jump out here. I have to meet my mother at the shopping center.

Mrs. Morton: Goodbye darling.











The girl playing Cassie pours all of her acting training behind the simple line "Hurry, someone's coming" in a way so memorable as to earn her:


Click on the video to play:


(For the number one Greatest Performance of All Time, click here)

























The following is verbatim dialogue from this scene:


Open on Mrs. Morton in the bedroom reading.

Bert Morton enters the room, looking crestfallen. He holds a bottle of beer in his hand. Mrs. Morton looks up from her book.



Mrs. Morton: Well, you finally did it, you idiot. You're spread all over the front page!






Bert Morton: (tiredly) I have taken all I can take for one day. (takes swig of beer)





Mrs. Morton: You've had all you can take.

She stands up.

Mrs. Morton: Why can't you think of me sometimes? The phone's been ringing off the hook!
Bert finally makes eye contact with her.

Bert Morton: Stop it, Bess.







Mrs. Morton: Don't you dare interrupt me when I'm speaking! I've given you the very best years of my life, and I won't be treated this way!





Bert Morton: Can it!








Mrs. Morton: What did you say?!








Bert slams his beer down on a table.

Bert Morton: Can it! CAN IT! CAAAAN IT!



Exeunt