New Perks of an AMC Stubs Membership

AMC's rewards program gains more and more members every month, primarily because of its growing list of perks and rewards. Here now are the latest benefits of being a Stubs card holder:

• If you nod off, we will rewind the film to where you were last paying attention

• Exclusive access to the upcoming "Passion of the Christ: Resurrection" popcorn bucket

• Diego can bake some hash into the chocolate chip cookies for you in the concession stand wink wink

• Text alerts for next time a movie starring that actor you like is playing

• Free spicy jalapeño nacho pretzel bites with purchase of XXL moon pie cookies & creme frozen blizzard shake diabetes

Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Huddled Masses Yearning To Path Mark

The EADJ Facebook Defriender

 

It's time once again to prune the tree of friendship. Not something we particularly enjoy, but once in a while a Facebook friend becomes so unbearable that it's time to cut 'em loose. This one is L________ from R_____, __ who has regularly flooded my news feed with odd phrases which I soon learned were overwrought lyrics from his favorite songs. Lyrics. Like he's drunk and singing outside my living room window. "Hey, you remember Bob Seger, right? Working on our NIGHT MOVES..."

And sure, everyone is entitled to post their favorite lyric or whatever, but not THE ENTIRE SONG, LINE BY LINE IN SEPARATE POSTS.

And you know he didn't type all that out- ⌘C, ⌘V

I've blurred out his name and replaced his profile pic to protect L______'s identity:

 

 

And I don't have anything against Dave Matthews or Peter Frampton, mind you.

 

So I just picture L______ chilling at home on the sofa with his tunes cranking, and he's on his laptop, typing everything he hears. "Ahh, a nice, relaxing evening of transcribing Dave Matthews, polluting the newsfeed of everyone I know."

 

He'll never love you, the way that I love you 'Cause if he did, no no, he wouldn't make you cry He might be thrillin' baby but a-my love (My love, my love)  So dog-gone willin', so kiss him (I wanna see you kiss him, wanna see you kiss him) Go on and kiss him goodbye, now 


(chorus)
Na na na na  Na na na na  Hey hey hey  Goodbye
Na na na na  Na na na na  Hey hey hey  Goodbye 

(fade out)