Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Hulu This Month

Due to contract changes or whatever, the following movies and TV shows will be removed from Hulu this week:

• Fear Factor: Infant Edition

• Let's Follow "2 Broke Girls"Actor Jonathan Kale Around For No Reason

• X-treme Elder Day Care

• Talking Talking Dead- The Show Where We Talk About What We Just Watched On "Talking Dead"

• Monkey Balls & Kale

• Push! The OB/GYN Reality Show

• Black Flag's "TV Party": The TV Series

• Artistic Pee Streams

The following movies and TV shows will be added to Hulu this week:

• Project Runway: The Confusingly Named Show That's Actually About Airport Runways

• Law and Order: CSI

• Ken Burns' Screamo

• Model Home Stagers

• Traffic Cop With a Taser

• Samantha's Itch

• Scrolling Fake Social Security Numbers

• Vending Machine Refill Wars

• Gag?

• Tomahawk Home Makeovers

Today We Asked A Man With His Head Squeezed Between A Woman's Thighs To Explain The Real Estate Trends In Vigo County, Indiana

"The Vigo County area, as well as the Clay and Sullivan County areas, are starting to... Ahh... UGGGH!... become a buyer's market as... GAH... can't breathe... FUCK... new business developments and ... ah... ahh... uh... and... um, lower interest rates... Ah.... ah... have... GUH... in L... LE...LE..." *dies*

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of January 2017

I know, I know. A certain shitty-President-to-be has cornered the market on awful tweets, so it pretty much renders this segment null as of January 20. But until then, here are the worst hashtags you can utilize in your little Twitter rant:

#koalatits

#dasvidaniyaPutin

#eroticnightterrors

#skeksisinathong

#smashmouthonvinyl

#dollarstoreheistmontage

#killingmesoftlywithhisknife

#theEverlyBrothersdickstouching

#standinginlinealreadyforthat50ShadesofGreysequel

#playingCardsAgainstHumanitywithanactualwarcriminal

What If The NJ Transit Survey People Were Trees?

I know it's been a while since we've covered this venerated group. And I know there are a lot of you who have been wondering, "if those six people had been born as different types of trees, what would they be?" Well, wait no more for an answer, for here it is, dendrophiles, a guide from EADJ in association with the National Park Service:

1) "Jesse"

Jesse is solid, reliable, and strong. But maybe a bit boring. And probably not around when things start to cool down, so not an evergreen. Jesse would be a Big Leaf Maple.

2) "Jess"

This one is easy. With flailing limbs, slender build and impressive height, Jesse would easily be a Weeping Willow. You go, Jess!

3) "Angie"

Now, I know you're expecting us to just make her a bush because she's just a floating head, LOL blah blah blah. But you're not seeing the true nature of Angie: sensible, sensitive and more than a little tired of people's "guff." Slight but strong. That's Angie. And that's the Ohio Buckeye.

4) "Trina"

Shapely. Flirtatious. Lecherous. Widely cultivated as a flowering ornamental throughout the temperate world. Yep, that's Trina. A Staghorn Sumac if I ever saw one.

5) "Don With The Thumbs"

With outer branches that are often pendulous with curled tips, the Horse Chestnut was the first and only contender for dear Don. Also, what has two thumbs and has seed extract used for its venotonic effect, vascular protection, anti-inflammatory and free radical scavenging properties? This guy!

6) "Simon Peter"

Pass. That guy bores me. Shit, only one more to do? Fine. I chose Canoe Birch because it's the closest one to the word "bitch." Happy? Cool. We're done here!

Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Huddled Masses Yearning To Path Mark

One Man's Path Is Another Man's Mark.