Today We Examine the Package for Red Jr. Table Tennis Balls

Why? Who knows? We need content, okay?

Nobody on the package is holding a ping pong paddle, so I'm pretty sure this is for beer pong. Also the fact that this was located in the chaser soft drink aisle.

Featuring Carmen Sandiego, Dorothy Gale, and a MAGA guy.

Kudos to the writer for creating 4 bullets that just repeat the text to fill out space. PowerPoint expert?

Is that Philadelphia? Flip, flip, flipadelphia!

A List Of Subjects That "Club Bangers" Mention In Their Lyrics In Order Of Descending Frequency

 

• Having a good time
• Forgetting about your troubles
• "The club"
• Putting one's hands up
• The dance floor (getting on/evacuating)
• Shaking one's posterior
• The weekend/the fact that it's Friday
• Being inebriated
• Thanking the DJ
• Apathy about tomorrow/the future
• Turning things out
• Bottles
• One's cell phone
• Girls/models at aforementioned club
• Partying all night
• Whether or not the place is "jumping"
• Cheating on your significant other
• Pitbull
• The large amount of money that one has
• The Lost Colony of Roanoke and how 115 settlers disappeared from Roanoke Island in present day North Carolina in 1590, leaving the only clue- the word "CROATOAN" carved on a nearby tree.

Flood Coverage

Even in waders standing in floodwaters filled with poo and gasoline, Channel 2's Kristine Johnson still knows how to look good.


Work that disaster area, sister!