It's Time To Say Goodbye To A Bunch of Things Ad Copywriters Want You To Say Goodbye To!

Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! *kiss*

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

What it's like when I fart in the car.

Since CBS wasn't aloud to air NBA footage, they hired a courtroom artist to cover game highlights.

Can't a 60 ft. tall black man go shopping without being followed around?

Who knew Andy's room was located in Atlanta?

"Shit, we're going to need to put in a lot more quarters to beat this guy."

Nothing screams "loser" like putting your likeness on a lottery scratch off ticket.

No change. It's perfect.

She had a pretty good idea of why her job interview didn't go so well.

"I am... untalented."

The reason Google Street View blurs people's faces is because anyone could end up on a mixtape cover, like these two unfortunate souls.

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

The ProofrEADJer: Rite Of Spring Edition

The ProofrEADJer: Early Jane's Addiction Edition

Wait a minute. Why did I call this the "Early Jane's Addiction Edition?" There weren't any entries about any of Jane's Addiction's early albums "Jane's Addiction," "Nothing's Shocking," or even "Ritual de lo Habitual." So what gives? You got me, pal.

Blackberry Face IV V

Starting in the first week of December, EADJ's exhibit "The Blackberry Face" will be augmented with a monumental new piece, recently acquired by the EADJ Museum Society as a permanent addition to the collection.


"Edvard" is a groundbreaking new masterwork that has rocked the art world to its foundation- it stays true to the spirit of its predecessors while at the same time challenging the very definition of what a "Blackberry Face" can be.


Not only is "Edvard" the first recording of a "Blackberry Face" outside of the New Jersey Transit Line, it is the very first instance of someone making a "Blackberry Face" while reading a Kindle. The repercussions of this new "game-changing" discovery have yet to be realized by the art press and the world in general.


"Edvard" joins "Maggie," "Frank," and "Tony," thereby converting the admired triptych into the rarer tetraptych.

The Blackberry Face Collection has been made possible by our chief patron, the Rembrandt Society. With special thanks to Canon Cameras, Blue Moon Beer and the Chubb Corporation. Additional finance has been supplied by the Bequest of Mrs Riemsdijk-Borsje, who the museum manager went to school with.

:C

***UPDATE***

Due to a GLARING oversight on EADJ's part, we mistakenly reported that "Edvard" was the fourth new "Blackberry Face," when in fact there already WAS a fourth, "Sam," which was added to the collection in May of this year. Readers must be assured this was not racially motivated.




This now means that "Edvard" is no longer the first "Blackberry Face" featured out of the NJ Transit train, and yet it remains the first one to feature a Kindle. "Edvard" now upgrades this rare tetraptych to an even rarer pentaptych.

The Dove Body Language Messenger

Last night I downloaded the Dove Body Language Messenger, a free app on the iPhone App Store. What I thought would be some advanced technology that can read your friends' body language to read their emotions turned out to be a gimmicky "women making letters of the alphabet" branded sharable digital doodad.


Here's how it works: you type a message, and the ladies do fancy yoga poses that eventually spell out what you typed. Wow! Cool neato, right? I can't believe this app is free!!!!!!



The catch is, you can't type "FUCK" or "SHIT" or "COCK" or anything fun, because otherwise you get gently scolded by the app:


Alright, then. Challenge accepted. Type something offensive or funny to my friends without using the standard four-letter expletives. I spent the next hour last night typing up messages and emailing them to Andrew, Vince, and Brad Harvey. Here is a sampling:









You can download this unintentionally hilarious app here.

The Merits of Coochie, Cash & Cougars Versus Paper, Pussy & Purp: An Analysis

Two different hip hop mixtape organizations have come out with releases that have attracted the attention of music critics across the blogosphere. Much like "Dante's Peak" versus "Volcano" in 1997, or "Antz"' versus "A Bug's Life" in 1998, the simultaneous release of similar material causes confusion, so we at EADJ will break down the main differences for you here:

"Coochie, Cash & Cougars" is presented by No Line Gang, featuring rapper Levi Leer. "Paper, Pussy & Purp," however, is brought to you by DJ Winn, DJ Shure Fire & DJ Smallz, featuring rapper Skroodle.


Although the titles of the two mixtapes are similar, there is a difference in emphasis. Levi Leer chose to start off with Coochie, mention Cash second, and then finish with Cougars. Skroodle took a different approach by mentioning finances first (Paper) then quickly mentioning Pussy and ending with the all-important Purp. What's interesting in the former is that one assumes "Coochie" to mean "women," but when there is mention of "Cougars," you suddenly have to reevaluate what "Coochie" means: Drugs? Respect? Luckily, Levi Leer clarifies this confusion at 1:03 in his intro, wherein he states outright, "I love coochie/ I love cash/ and I love old bitches." This means Leer has foregone the mention of dealing with drugs entirely, opting instead to mention women and older women as two different quantities. Ostensibly, this is to present Leer as a shrewd businessman as well as a ladies man versus being a common street hustler.


It's already very clear what Skroodle is talking about in his mixtape title, but he cleverly adds ghosted texture within the letterforms themselves to remove any lingering doubt; even the most inexperienced hip-hop listener can now tell that Paper means dollars and that Purp refers to marijuana. And to tie it all together, he has designated the ampersand to contain his likeness. Skroodle is no stranger to playing with type– his name on the cover is simply the House Industries Playhouse font with a pair of handcuffs as the O's and a pistol for the L.


"Coochie Cash & Cougars" posts a warning at the bottom that the content within is "For Bad Bitches Only," further reinforcing Levi Leer's preference for women (perhaps too much?). "Paper Pussy & Purp" simply displays a stamp at the bottom: "Certified Hood Entertainment," letting potential listeners know that this mixtape has been officially endorsed by 'hood regulators.



Final Analysis: Even though both mixtapes are free to download here and here, respectively, you'll be hard pressed to find worse Lil' Wayne-wannabe autotuning than "CC&C" and meandering bush-league southern slangin' than "PP&P."