Some Terrible Porn Names

Feel free to use any of the following unclaimed porn names in case you're getting into "the biz." But please keep in mind, these are terrible names:


HER:

H. Ivy
Ana Filactic
Tara Dactyl
Eleanor Roosevelt
Java Script
Tess Tease
Amber Alert
Roe Tissery
Lexxxxi Prude
Winnie the Pube
Preg Nancy
Exxel Spreadsheet
Roomba

HIM:

Stefan Ready
Jim Membership
Rex Yourcredit
Honoré De Ballsack
Ari U. Inyet
Father Donald O' Reilly
Jack Squat
Corey Ander
Jiminy Rickets
Iowa Caucus

An Imagined Conversation

"I still think there's somebody prowling in our yard, honey. You did call the police, right?"

"The police? No."

"Why not?! I thought you said you called the authorities."

"No, I said I called El Toro-Tees. They're on their way with collectible ceramic plates, NYPD souvenir T-shirts and small statues of the Freedom Tower."

"Oh thank Jesus!"

Coming Soon To The EADJ Crappinema: "Route 30," starring Dana Delany

There are a lot of wacky subplots going on here involving eccentric locals. It might as well be "Northern Exposure: The Movie." I have lots of respect for Dana Delany as an actor, so this will only be more painful for me to watch her trudge through this "endearing" comedy. Who knows. Maybe this movie is actually great.

On the back, the production company Echo Bridge Home Entertainment has the slogan "The Entertainment Alternative For What The World Wants To See." Is this movie an alternative TO what the world wants to see? Or if the world DOES want to see it, why would there need to be an entertainment alternative? Is there no cursing in this movie? And why is a Bigfoot involved at all?

These and many other questions will be addressed in the next EADJ Crappinema. Now in IMAX 3-D Dolby Digital.

Results Not Typical.

(pictured above, a web banner that promises to turn you into a less fat white person)