Look At These Fucking Cakes

I at store. I see cakes. I make fun.

Cakeside Accident Leaves Two Dead

Midtown (AP) -- Police responded to a call on the top of a birthday cake in midtown this afternoon to find the grisly accident scene of a head-on collision between two plastic cars. Among the wreckage of fondant, plastic shards and icing were the bodies of brother and sister Dora and Diego, two popular children's show cartoon characters.


A preliminary estimate from forensics experts states that both cars were speeding on the slippery icing, and Diego had just crossed the one-lane bridge over the icing river with nowhere else to turn. The report also suggests that before hitting the other car, Dora swerved to avoid hitting a paper tree. It has not yet been determined if alcohol or fruit punch was a factor.

The body of Diego was thrown from his vehicle at such a velocity that it ended up on a nearby Hey Gabba Gabba cake. Dora's body was found near a cake corner and was quickly claimed by the birthday boy. Funeral arrangements have not yet been announced.

Results Not Typical.

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