Here Are More Unused, Terrible Porn Names

Congrats on nailing your audition to porn stardom! But before you can take your pants off again, you're going to need a pornstar name. Something that no one has taken yet. Here are some awful ones that were lying around, so have at it, sport:

HER: 

Shen Yun

Fallopia

Excedrin Headache

Phoenix Busstop

WiFi Assward

Alicia To Own Lexus

Tess TD

Ava Cado

HIM: 

Moe Joe Rising

Stu Pendulous

Coccyx Masculinity

Pope Francis

Al Dente

Oswald Gobblecock

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

Nothing more terrifying than a knife wielding gorilla that screams "PRICE!"

No change needed.

Looks good to me.

"V-Ice" now? Okay. Approved.

Stet.

Perfect.

Sure.

Yup. Solid. Keep as is.

I love the attention to detail here. Even though it clearly says "WEST COAST" and "LOS ANGELES" on the cover in big letters, the designer made sure to include the silhouette of the state of California (see the bay area near the chin?) to really drive the message home.

Burning Questions

1) Who is Big "D?"

2) Is Big "D" a company or a man?

3) If it is a man, why does he go by "Big D," rather than the nice name like Douglas or Donovan that his mother gave him?

4) Is he big like muscular, or fat?

5) Is Big D not a U.S. citizen, or was that part of the sign redundant?

6) If he is not a U.S. citizen, is Big D's healthcare paid for fully, in case he gets sick or in an accident?

7) Does Big D look down on the USA for not adopting truly universal healthcare, like other First World countries?

8) What time is his break?

9) Is there a "Missus D?" If not, why hasn't Big D found the right woman yet? Or is he gay?

10) If he is gay, does Big D resent or appreciate all the big dick jokes he gets all the time at bars?

11) Why doesn't Donovan call his mother once in a while instead of frequenting gay bars every night?

Reaction-O-Rama, The Beginning

I show J'Net 2 Girls 1 Cup back in November. Remarkably, she watches the whole thing.