The Triumphant Return of Mysterious Puddles of NYC, Identified by Pantone Number

After over a year hiatus, the EADJ Pantone team have hit the streets of New York again to document and name all the wonderful, mysterious splotches and puddles of stank that are found around town:

The EADJ Fashion Round-Up: June Edition

Desmond rocks the Kidnapper/Construction look in a blue plaid and Desert Storm camo combo.

Patricia plays with the colors and textures of a Koopa Troopa.

Nothing telegraphs an aversion to Mondays or a preference for lasagna like a matching Garfield sweatshirt/sneaks combo. FEED ME, JON!

Mr. Roark searches the NJ Transit platform at midnight for fantasies to fulfill on the fly. No takers.

Sikh patriotic combo, dude!

After enchanting the Walgreens lip-liner aisle, the Brown and Yellow Fairy Princess flies away in her Lexus crossover.

More Dipshit Info Wars Conspiracies

If you watch Info Wars regularly–and if you do, God help you–you may discover that the garbage Alex Jones pukes out his hate hole doesn't change during the week. That's because an entire staff of writers are still busy cooking up next week's batch of irrational right-wing bullshit. But here now is an exclusive preview of next weeek's Info Wars talking points:

• Ted Nugent had recorded a song with Santana for his 1999 album "Supernatural" but was dropped because of his Christian and political beliefs. And two years later, 9/11 happened.

• Whenever someone uses the word "causeway," Bill Cosby receives a $5 royalty and rapes another white woman brought to him by attorney Gloria Allred.

• Words With Friends tracks the movements of Gentiles worldwide and adds them to a secret Jewish database on the planet XVIQXSH (36 points).

• Pigeons are liberal operatives who poop on Confederate statues to mark them for removal. Don'e believe me? Ask your science teacher!

• The children's game "Duck Duck Goose" was invented by Josef Stalin to perpetuate forced collectivism of the working class and to let them know "their place."

• Lesbians don't actually sleep. They simply charge their gay batteries by watching episodes of "Steven Universe."