The EADJ Fashion Round-Up

A Subway flag complements any shirt dress, and a dark vest ties it all together.

Black slacks with tassels are a hip, festive way to spice up your morning commute. Olé!

Do you know who can actually find help at the Home Depot? Pimps.

A quirky quirkster wearing a trilby and furry boots heads to Trader Joe's for murasaki sweet potatoes.

Somebody bagged a Neapolitan bear on their last safari.

Here Are Your Job Numbers For April

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Unfortunate Logo of the Month

There's not exactly a plethora of vaj in a blog named "Eat a Dick, Joel," so it's always refreshing to find a nice slit or tomahawk wound when it wanders through our doors. But what's disturbing about this unfortunate logo is that the cooter looks propped open with chopsticks.

But maybe that's just the dirty minds of the EADJ editing staff. What did other people in the office have to say?

A "G" is born. -Larry

Cool but meaningless and dated. 2001 -Matt Webb

Someone really needs a trim down there. -Michelle Litos, who probably has used her ginormous box of Brazilian wax by now (see all of the May 3 entries)

Is this the e-vite for Boblett and Brad's going away party???? -Lauren F

Those 3 horizontal rectangular shapes might look nice Feeling like those arc shapes, top one going up, bottom One going down, and the center one emulating the center Shape (with the "G") but rotate 90 degrees and 1/4 as fat. Move the 2 dots around the "THE" and replace the arrows. - The always professional Andrea Park

Educational material for men of all ages. Prodding sticks, not included. - Nikki Baker, whose train keeps rollin'

A yonic logo to match a high class bar, unlike Cans. -J'Net

And what do you think of the logo, Pewter Bear?


Fuck off, Pewter Bear. You don't know shit.

No one's in the office.

But to prove our commitment to you, our beloved obsessed reader, we're posting an entry anyways.

Joel eats dick! There!

(pictured above, the difference between an A cup and a D cup: a nerf football)

A Lame Theft Attempt, Reenacted Lamely

Luzie & Travis show how Lauren totally caught a suspicious dude with his hand in her purse.

SCANDAL ROCKS THE CHICKEN BUCKET!!!!

News vans and reporters are scrambling in front of 225 North Michigan upon hearing that the "FUN PAGES: Draw The Rest of Brad's Body" contest held recently at the Chicken Bucket has been blown wide open with scandal. The fallout: hurt feelings, lost friendships, a lawsuit, and a divorce.

The contest was launched several weeks ago at the request of Ayana, who felt that "it was time for something to go up there." A simple template featuring Brad Harvey's head was made and the contest was announced. Within hours, the Chicken Bucket had been papered with entries, and Phil May had been invited to judge on December 5.

As the deadline approached, May suggested that maybe he shouldn't judge, as he had submitted his own entry! May's entry was balled up and thrown at him, but he was still invited to judge. By now an announcement had been posted by the entries: "The winner receives a free lunch with Brad Harvey, courtesy of Brad Harvey."

Phil May judged and picked a winner, and a ribbon was hung on the winning entry:


Lauren Fontinel and Suzie Caravella had worked together on the winning entry and not surprisingly, expected a free lunch from Brad Harvey. But as days passed, their elation turned into concern. Concern turned into regret. Regret into anger.

Brad had yet to take them out to lunch.

Brad eventually revealed that the entire contest did not have his blessing. He felt that he had been pressured into taking TWO winners to a contest he didn't even know about. His argument: he was out of town or something.


Undaunted by Brad's refusal, Fontinel allegedly took matters into her own hands, applying more pressure to claim her prize. She tacked a note onto the contest invitation: "Where's my free lunch Brad?'

Brad's terse response: "Up your butt Lauren."

In addition to the judging flap and the unresolved prize scandal, the contest has strangely taken on a life of its own. Weeks after the contest was judged, mysterious entries continue to be submitted:

What this means for the two current scandals is unknown. Do people still think they can win a free lunch from Brad? Is Brad taunting the girls? Why did he call them "Lunch-hungry sluts who can swab my nicotine-stained taint?" And who the fuck put THIS up?


Lives shattered. Questions unanswered. Families broken. More to come.