The ProofrEADJer: End of April Edition

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

The ProofrEADJer: Augustus Editionus

It's "Hillary," idiot.

Dear Tara, 

If you insist on putting the word "gourmet" on everything, at least spell it right once.

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Make Delicious French Toast

Originally a way to use up stale bread, hot, steaming French toast is a perfect addition to a brunch, as well as making a delicious cold weather breakfast treat. Follow these steps, and you'll soon be enjoying its delicious goodness.

1) Beat egg, vanilla and cinnamon in shallow dish. Stir in milk.

2) Dip bread in egg mixture, turning to coat both sides evenly.

3) Cook bread slices on lightly greased nonstick griddle or skillet on medium heat until browned on both sides.

And speaking of "browned on both sides," if you're riding in the back of one of the limos I drive and stand out of the sunroof for hours and hours, just remember that the waiver you signed clears me of any liability for nasty sunburns.

Stay safe kids!

UAG

UAG

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of Jan 13

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Spotted At A New Jersey Home Depot

Some dude says fuck it and waits for his girlfriend where he usually likes to sit at home.

Supreme Omelet Taquito UPDATE

You know, Mr. Graffiti Artist, I knew what you drew even without the caption. But thanks.

Spotted: Dick

Larry and Flicklicker are the latest in a series of recent sightings of Scott Peterson's less-high more-obese twin. Here is Larry's write-up:

Yes. Flick and I had a SFVOSP spotting last night (My second of the day). Which I’m told means I have to write something about this glorious moment. But since I’m getting the sense that people are growing weary of this topic, I think I can get away with repurposing an old letter to Penthouse Forum.

Dear Penthouse Forum EADJ Editor,

I can’t believe this actually happened to me Phil and I. There I was in the Kinko’s just after midnight, we were on the escalator of the Illinois Center at 5:30, when there I saw this smoking hot cashier bent over a copier, in a sexy low-cut skirt, allowing me a view of her ass-crack. The SVSOP In ill-fitting Toughskins, which gave us a view of his ass-crack.

She stood up and she gave me a knowing smile. A smile that said we were going to fuck. The SVSOP looked at us weirdly. A look that said, “why the fuck are all these people staring at me?” We stared at each other for what seemed like hours and then she began fumbling for my jeans and the bulge in my pants I began fumbling in my pants for my cell phone. Before I knew it we were going at it like animals. We went at it everywhere. On computers. Scanners. Desks. She even let me stick a stapler in her ass. After a half hour of screwing each other’s brains out, we collapsed in a sweaty heap on the floor, repeating the act three more times in the next hour. It was a night I’ll never forget. The SFVOSP was gone before we could get a pic. We were disappointed.

Name Withheld Phil and Larry

(pictured above, the altercation captured on a Post It)

Eat This, Joel

(pictured above, the Unfortunate Logo of the Month: Jack Link doesn't realize his logo looks like a naked black dude from the waist down)